Romance is dead

I feel so foolish. Never go back they say. Never go back.

But go back I did… in spite of  the callous way he treated me last time. I even found out he’d been fooling around with some of my friends behind my back.  But still I went back to the unfaithful arrogant bastard.

And on my return there was no warm embrace, no apologies, no compliments, no flowers, no dinner… not even a relaxing glass of wine to calm those ‘first time’ nerves. All he wanted was to get into my pants and get on with it.

I am, of course, talking about Dildocam, also known to regular folks as the transvaginal ultrasound.

Dildocam discovered that there are 17 plump little follicular chickens pecking about in the ovarian coup and we’re hoping that they’ll all be good layers. The battery farm is looking good and there has been no sign, thus far, of the ovarian hyper-stimulation that occurred last time. This means the chickens get a bit longer to prepare their nests and I won’t be dropping dead in the foreseeable future, which is a big plus, in my humble opinion.

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